My name is Erika Lawrence and I am a cancer survivor.
When I was 17 years old I found a nodule in my neck. I was told by doctors that the lump was nothing to worry about since my mother has Hoshimoto’s disease. Hoshimoto is hereditary (though my blood work didn’t show any thyroid disfunction), & because of my age, there was nothing I should be concerned about. They stated “You have a goiter.”  Seven years later (now 24) I was starting to not “feel right.” I couldn’t explain it to anyone in words, I just knew something was wrong. I went to yet another doctor and had blood work done. Once again, I was told everything was fine; my thyroid was functioning normally and I was “probably going through a ‘Quarter Life Crisis’.” It’s normal for someone my age. [Don't you just love vague medical terms that make absolutely no sense?!]
At 27, I became more depressed, extremely lethargic, emotional, & slowly started gaining unexplained weight. Not only that, my voice was changing–getting lower. As a singer, it was very noticeable, and I no longer had the vocals I used to. I also noticed the lump– or should I say “Goiter”– was slowly getting larger, and was now protruding out of the left side of my neck. I start doing a lot of online research, since I started to feel as if I was going insane. Little bumps on my cheeks starting showing up. Not pimples, just very small red bumps. As I googled about the bumps, I read an article stating that in rare cases this can be signs of cancer in the blood stream. I went to my local doctor and demanded a biopsy on my “goiter”. My doctor referred me to an Endocrinologist who did the procedure.
I will never forget that day. The room was cold, the doctor I was referred to was not comforting in any way. (He used to be a doctor in the military.) He was definitely not someone you wanted to try and have cheer your spirits before sticking a needle in to your neck. He was like Debbie Downer. When he walked into the room, all I heard wa wa wa. (ha!)
I remember laying in this room and he told me to look at the ceiling. “Don’t move, and don’t breathe when you feel the needle go in,” he said. I remember thinking to myself, “Gosh, I hope I dont have to cough, or that I dont jerk on accident from pain.” I held my breath for what seemed like forever, heard a ”beep” and felt the needle come out. Then I was allowed to breathe. We repeated this 6 times. SIX TIMES. Afterward, as I got up he said, “Its nothing to worry about, I am sure its just a goiter. I see this all the time, you are far too young but I hope this will give you a peace of mind.”
On March 30, 2008, I had just taken my parents to the airport. This was their first vacation alone since they were married almost 30 years ago. My youngest brother was now in college and my parents finally had a chance to get away. Since I had been told by every doctor I had seen over the past ten years that everything was fine, I didnt want to worry anyone with what was going on with me. I started to believe that I was a hypochondriac. I kept telling myself, “Erika, nothing is wrong with you. You’re being dramatic.”  That’s essentially what I had been told by every professional for years.  However, in my gut, I knew that something WAS wrong.  I wasn’t making it up. Â
On April 1, 2008, my life changed. (How ironic. The national day of pranks.) I received that dreaded call. “Miss Lawrence” they said “I regret to inform you that your biopsy came back, and it is positive. You have Cancer, and we will need to set you up with another doctor to go over surgery and procedures.” I got this call at work. Over the phone! I remember falling to my knees in a private room as I took the call. Just the word Cancer scared me to death. In a way, I was relieved. Relieved that I was right. That I knew all along something was wrong, and finally I knew I wasnt going crazy. There was something legitimately making me feel bad and it wasn’t my fault!
In the next moment I felt very angry that ten years had gone by with no diagnosis. That can’t be good news.  I immediately called my parents who were in the Caymans to let them know I had a biopsy and it came back positive. That I had Cancer. At first, they thought this was some horrible April Fools Joke. My mom kept saying “Erika, that is not something to joke about!” I started crying and she immediately knew this was no joke. I remember them on the phone trying to be strong, and it was very quiet. Then they kept apologizing, as if it was their fault, even though they had taken me to doctors. They felt guilty for not aggressivly looking for answers instead of just believing all the doctors. My mom felt the worst.  One time she had said to me, “Erika its a goiter. Quit being a drama queen. It’s normal. Everyone has one… just drop it. You’re fine.” I mean…I get. It’s that parental denial thing. Parents love their children so much that they can’t possibly accept that something could be terribly wrong. And I should admit admit that as a kid, I was in theater, choir and VERY dramatic. So, it wasnt really her fault to think I was just over reacting.
My family came back from vacation and my father immediately was on the phone with friends in the medical field, finding referrals. Calling around to see “Who is the best head and neck surgeon in Nashville?”
I definitely didn’t want “Debbie Downer” to have anything else to do with my treatment. I wanted someone who I felt comfortable with and who would be positive about my situation.
Via a family friend, I got connected with Dr. James Netterville at Vanderbilt University Hospital in Nashville. As it turns out, Dr. Netterville is a world-reknowned surgeon for head and neck cancers and has an extremely high success rate for all of his cases. From the moment we met, I knew I was going to be ok. He was truly a God-send.  He said “I have a daughter your age, so I know exactly what you and definitely your dad are going through. I promise I will take great care of you.” He was so hopeful and positive about my situation…which was exactly what I needed.Â
My surgery was scheduled right after my 28th birthday– May 27, 2008.  After opening me up, I was told they realized this surgery wasn’t going to be as easy as once thought. Not to mention once going inside they realized they were going to have to remove 42 of my lymph-nodes ranging from my left cheek all the way to the top of my left breast. They also noticed, the size of the tumor was not only rare, but my body had acted very “rare” as parts of my body were actually growing with and around the tumor…My laryngeal nerve, Larynx, vocal cords, and other parts had to be carefully detached from the tumor. One wrong move and I would have lost my voice for good. So the surgery was more complicated than initially thought because the tumor was likely there as my body was developing in to adulthood. They told me recovery wasnt going to be as easy either. Because of the surgery, my speech was really slow, it was hard for me to talk… and even harder for me to pronounce some words. I sounded intoxicated or drugged…which I was not. I remember getting very irritated and crying all the time. (My thyroid was removed, so I had no hormones. Yikes. This turned a very dramatic girl into an over-the-top emotional basketcase!)
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Fast-forward. Today, I am in remission and feel better than I ever have. (I can say ever, because I can never remember feeling normal!) Post-surgery, I still had some patches of active cancer cells, but after radiation treatment, the tests came negative for cancer and I am now (and hopefully forever) cancer free! I am on Thyroid Replacements, which are being increased every six weeks until the dosage is correct for my body.
I got married on Valentines Day in New Zealand to an amazing Kiwi. 
 Not only ded I get married there, I decided to move there. You only live once, and I since I always wanted to travel… Whats a better time than now?
I continue to be amazed at the people I have met who are “Survivors.” In a weird way, I dont think I would have grown so much as a person unless I had been faced with the challenge of cancer. I look at the people I have met in my journey to recovery and realize just how amazing and incredible the Cancer community is. Its something that I am actually very proud to be a part of. I dont even hide my scar. I am proud of it. It shows tremendous strength, courage, and faith to me and I want to show it off. I feel as if I am tremendously blessed and every day we have here on earth together, is just one more day to influence someone, or give someone hope, or even just to make someone smile. This whole “stupid cancer” has taught me so much at a young age about life, friendships, love, and family. And I wouldn’t trade that for anything.
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